Kids,Two Jobs,& Lots of Love

So this week has been fun I Picked up another job cause we are going to need it cause john is going to have to have back surgery I am so scared for him he tells me it will be ok but I still can worry and Kylie's behavior has gotten a little better and my baby starts school in 3 days!!!!!! [tears] i hope her behavior gets better by the time she starts school I really do I got this parenting book recommended by slighty crunchy and I jsut started using it so we will see! This weekend Our cousins Nicole and Steven and the new baby Rebekka she is 6 months and OMG cutest baby ever! They have been a blast all weekend I was so happy to have them over! My sister law Sandi moved in with us she is such a blessing she helps with Kylie while I am working and will be needed when John is down from his back! I love her so much all this love I have in my life I just don't know what to do with it!

my feelers are hurt!

So today started awesome Walked around Westport Or and went to the creek and took some pics had a blast my sister in-law is up for a visit love her to pieces then we came home and ate some food and my daughter wanted me to paint her nails so i got one hand done then she wouldn't let me take her other hand thought it was a game so i played it for a little while then got serious and asked her if she could give me her hand so i lifted it up and put it on my lap and she started crying so i put the fingernail polish away with an unpainted hand and she pouted and went to her room all on her own so I went to lay on the floor in front of the fan cause it is hot in here and she came up and KICKED ME IN THE ARM!!! I was so pissed so i gave her a light tap on the but and sent her to her room and took all her toys away! i don't know what to do anymore she throws fits all the time now and they are bad and I just don't know what to do anymore!! can anyone help me I am at a lose here!

88 important truths :)

1. You can’t change other people, and it’s rude to try.

2. It is a hundred times more difficult to burn calories than to refrain from consuming them in the first place.

3. If you’re talking to someone you don’t know well, you may be talking to someone who knows way more about whatever you’re talking about than you do.

4. The cheapest and most expensive models are usually both bad deals.

5. Everyone likes somebody who gets to the point quickly.

6. Bad moods will come and go your whole life, and trying to force them away makes them run deeper and last longer.

7. Children are remarkably honest creatures until we teach them not to be.

8. If everyone in the TV show you’re watching is good-looking, it’s not worth watching.

9. Yelling always makes things worse.

10. Whenever you’re worried about what others will think of you, you’re really just worried about what you’ll think of you.

11. Every problem you have is your responsibility, regardless of who caused it.

12. You never have to deal with more than one moment at a time.

13. If you never doubt your beliefs, then you’re wrong a lot.

14. Managing one’s wants is the most powerful skill a person can learn.

15. Nobody has it all figured out.

16. Cynicism is far too easy to be useful.

17. Every passing face on the street represents a story every bit as compelling and complicated as yours.

18. Whenever you hate something, it hates you back: people, situations and inanimate objects alike.

19. Ralph Waldo Emerson’s works alone can teach you everything you need to know about living with grace and happiness.

20. People embellish everything, as a rule.

21. Anger reveals weakness of character, violence even moreso.

22. Humans cannot destroy the planet, but we can destroy its capacity to keep us alive. And we are.

23. When people are uncomfortable with the present moment, they fidget with their hands or their minds. Watch and see.

24. Those who complain the most, accomplish the least.

25. Putting something off makes it instantly harder and scarier.

26. Credit card debt devours souls.

27. Nobody knows more than a minuscule fraction of what’s going on in the world. It’s just way too big for any one person to know it well.

28. Most of what we see is only what we think about what we see.

29. A person who is unafraid to present a candid version of herself to the world is as rare as diamonds.

30. The most common addiction in the world is the draw of comfort. It wrecks dreams and breaks people.

31. If what you’re doing feels perfectly safe, there is probably a better course of action.

32. The greatest innovation in the history of humankind is language.

33. Blame is the favorite pastime of those who dislike responsibility.

34. Everyone you meet is better than you at something.

35. Proof is nothing but a collection of opinions that match your own.

36. Knowledge is belief, nothing more.

37. Indulging your desires is not self-love.

38. What makes human beings different from animals is that animals can be themselves with ease.

39. Self-examination is the only path out of misery.

40. Whoever you are, you will die. To know and understand that means you are alive.

41. Revenge is for the petty and irresponsible.

42. Getting truly organized can vastly improve anyone’s life.

43. Almost every cliché contains a truth so profound that people have been compelled to repeat it until it makes you roll your eyes. But the wisdom is still in there.

44. People cause suffering when they are suffering themselves. Alleviating their suffering will help them not hurt others.

45. High quality is worth any quantity, in possessions, friends and experiences.

46. The world would be a better place if everyone read National Geographic.

47. If you aren’t happy single, you won’t be happy in a relationship.

48. Even if it costs no money, nothing is free if it takes time.

49. Emotions exist to make us strongly biased towards or against something. This hinders as often as it helps.

50. Addiction is a much greater problem in society than it’s made out to be. It’s present in every person in various forms, but usually we call it something else.

51. “Gut feeling” is not just a euphemism. Tension in the abdomen speaks volumes about how you truly feel about something, beyond all arguments and rationales.

52. Posture and dress change profoundly how you feel about yourself and how others feel about you, like it or not.

53. Everyone thinks they’re an above average driver.

54. The urge to punish others has much more to do with venting frustration than correcting behavior.

55. By default, people think far too much.

56. If anything is worth splurging on, it’s a high-quality mattress. You’ll spend a third of your life using it.

57. There is nothing worse than having no friends.

58. To write a person off as worthless is an act of great violence.

59. Try as we might to be otherwise, we are all hypocrites.

60. Justice is a human invention which is in reality rarely achievable, but many will not hesitate to destroy lives demanding it.

61. Kids will usually understand exactly what you mean if you keep it to one or two short sentences.

62. Stuff that’s on sale usually has an annoying downside.

63. Casual swearing makes people sound dumb.

64. Words are immensely powerful. One cruel remark can wound someone for life.

65. It’s easy to make someone’s day just by being uncommonly pleasant to them.

66. Most of what children learn from their parents isn’t taught on purpose.

67. The secret ingredient is usually butter, in obscene amounts.

68. It is worth re-trying foods that you didn’t like at first.

69. Problems, when they arise, are rarely as painful as the experience of fearing them.

70. Nothing — ever — happens exactly like you pictured it.

71. North Americans are generally terrible at accepting compliments and offers of help.

72. There are not enough women in positions of power. The world has suffered from this deficit for a long time.

73. When you break promises to yourself, you feel terrible. When you make a habit of it, you begin to hate yourself.

74. A good nine out of ten bad things I’ve worried about never happened. A good nine out of ten bad things that did happen never occurred to me to worry about.

75. You can’t hide a bad mood from people who know you well, but you can always be polite.

76. Sometimes you have to remove certain people from your life, even if they’re family.

77. Anyone can be calmed in an instant by looking at the ocean or the stars.

78. There is no point finishing a book you aren’t enjoying. Life is too short for that. Swallow your pride and put it down for good, unfinished.

79. There is no correlation between the price of a brand of batteries and how long they last.

80. Breaking new ground only takes a small amount more effort than you’re used to giving.

81. Life is a solo trip, but you’ll have lots of visitors. Some of them are long-term, most aren’t.

82. One of the best things you can do for your kids is take them on road trips. I’m not a parent, but I was a kid once.

83. The fewer possessions you have, the more they do for you.

84. Einstein was wiser than he was intelligent, and he was a genius.

85. When you’re sick of your own life, that’s a good time to pick up a book.

86. Wishing things were different is a great way to torture yourself.

87. The ability to be happy is nothing other than the ability to come to terms with how things change.

88. Killing time is an atrocity. It’s priceless, and it never grows back.

awe the sweet things in life

I have been sick for awhile now I am better but I didn't relize how lazy my old man is i was down for 3 days and my house is disgusting and I am so mad at him right now but what am I suppose to do??? yell i don't think so me and fights don't go hand in hand i am a lover and when i do get mad it is really bad and i feel like breaking but i know i have to be strong but sometimes it is really hard and i want to cry i asked him why he couldn't do the house work while i was vomiting adn had a fever couldn't leave the bed sick and he had no answer all he did was play wow and i don't care that he plays it cause well i do to but erg!!! i was sick for christ sakes! i just want the little extra help i cook,i clean,i work,i take care of our daughter he says he is to tired when he gets home from work do you think he is depressed? if so he won't talk to me about it i just want him to talk to me i feel like i am walking on a one sided street here and i am getting really pissed! what should I do not that anyone reads my blog but please someone help me and tell me what it is i should do?

i hate bee stings!!

I was going to go get sand from the sand pit/play area for the kids for the butt can and well on my way back to the house I got this terrible bee sting from a bumble bee THANK GOD cause I am deathly allergic to wasps and hornets but not bumble bees odd I think but anyways my foot is so swollen it hurts it feels like my skin is about to rip off and I took on the challenge of two more kids today woo so yea I sent them outside to play cause 1 it is good for them natural sun light and all and well 2 is because they wanted to stay inside and play video games all day ummm hellooo what ever happened to playing outside in the sun!! that was fun when i was a kid!!

photo dump

good friends, heart breaks and getting wasted

My good friend Connie and her old man broke up so she called me at 9:30 to come get her and her stuff so I did so and that nate is a douche bag pardon the bad language but he is he told her the most horrific things it made me so sad to see her have to hear those things and pack her stuff so I brought her to my house for it's going to be ok he's a loser talk and well it was true she will better without him he's a control freak grr anyways I got her really drunk it was the first time in a long time i saw her smile! it warmed my heart and it got me thinking of all the guys that did me wrong and made me thankful for the wonderful man i have in my life..

i don't know how to lable this lol

Well today Is a list of cleaning BLEEK but it needs to be done I'm a super clean freak and I have been sick for 3 days and I'm better now and I realized I have let my house go to crap :) not good for me so I made a list I work better from a list.Constance is coming over to help me keep kylie busy while I clean cause grandma has had her for 2 days in the morning to help me out being bed ridden with the flu so I don't want my little one to go today cause my days sucks without her.. She hate when I write in my blog she gives me sad faces cause she can't write like mommy :( so I'm hoping I will be done with my list fast so I can take her to the beach for some mommy daughter time makes some sandwiches and chill out. Probly take constance with me to say thanks for helping out! I love god for blessing me with great friends!
list of things to do..
1. kitchen
2. my room
3.kylies room
4.guest room
5.living room
I love cleaning don't let me fool you :)
I just realized I use "lol" a lot note should stop that

Kylie's Entry:
jddddrrrrrrgkhgvrkfffffdfmrtgtggfttj5trerrjt4errrr43weehdddefsdgdbsfgeffhewfdefefddfwdf
love and rockets,
crystal and kylie

This Week

SO Friday I hung out with John at work it was fun went and saw my buddy nate for a little bit and we watched the new season of TrueBlood woot love that show.. Saturday we Went to the Family reunion I don't think I have been pointed at so much it was well nerve racking but it was awesome to see kylie playing well with kids her own age SMILES.. on Sunday we had nat and connie over for dinner I got sick and it sucks cause needless to say I am still sick!!
Kylie is slightly getting on my nerves lol but hey whats a mom to do... [biting nails] monday and today consisted of me vomiting yay fun I'm not preggers tho I don't think so.. I think I just have the stomach flu.. I'M REALLY HUNGRY... D: can't keep anything down! i want my man to rub my feet.. I'll post pics up later

sand,cleaning, I hate laundry!!

So my little one is outside playing in the sand so I am writing this listening to my playlist http://www.playlist.com/lovethewayitsounds also attending the laundry I have been to lazy to do for a couple days shame on me. John and I re-arranged the house yesterday it looks really good he loves me :) I am happy And the whole not smoking didn't last long i really want to but I don't at the same time grr it's hard is there any ex smokers who could help me out??? what worked best for you?? anyways the dryer just buzzed it's such an annoying sound! :) hehehe Kylie seems to be having a good time with her new friends that's great! I love to see her happy!

everything

So woke up at 8:30 got the kiddo up my hunny went to work came home at 9:00 made french toast he loved them :) Kylie and I went for a walk here in dear old West Port OREGON! we walked everywhere till her little feet got tired then carried her 2 miles back home we made a sand castle in the sand pit in front of our lovely home! the her uncle showed up to finish grandmas wheelchair ramp next door! she loved it handing out nails and telling him where they should go witch gave me time to vacuum and mop oh and finish the what i thought was an never ending pile of laundry... last load in the laundry in the dryer now wooot! She played out side a little more till i saw her with GUM in her mouth now most 5 year olds can have gum but she has a tendency of swallowing her gum every time she eats it so i had to smack her hand :( hated it!!! then put her on the couch for time out and well needless to say she passed out so another hour of coffee and alone time what ever shall i do with this free time all chores are done and hamburger is thawing for sloppy joes tonight yuuuum! uuuggg i am bored hope she wakes up soon!

love and rockets
crystal

my life

SO GOOD NEWS! I found great love and the bonus of a beautiful 5 year old! John is so amazing and strong and knows my past and wants my future the way he holds me in the morning makes me feel like I could take on the world I haven't smoked a cigarette in almost 24 hours and feel great and I am watching my beautiful daughter to be Kylie be funny and dump a bunch of change on the desk and scream i got an egg crystal did you know u have an egg crystal!! I want you to play in sand with me tomarrow please crystal ok Kylie thank you she says lol she is so cute she melts my heart!!! she had 46 cents and she replies that's a lot of money woooooooooow... well I have to get to making dinner i will post pics later
love and rockets crystal

a new life!

So I have been 21 for 3 months now and all my life I have procrastinated with everything I have ever done and well I was visiting with my mother in woodland and we talked about the abuse she had givin over the years and I let her know that I can't finish anything in my life because up in till I was 16 she told me it was never good enough and that no matter what I do it will never be good enough and that sticks with somebody for awhile so now I am taking back control of my life it also helped to share this repressed anger and sadness with my family and mother I am now doing what I want with my life I going to enroll in collage in Oregon and get a joband i meet the man of my dreams in the process all I wanted in my life was to be somebody to me and it took 21 years for me to realize that i have been somebody all along it is so good to feel free in my own mind and body and it wasn't till a was reading a young women's blog slightly crunchy that I realized I had the strength to change my life and the path I have been on.. her strength gave me the chance to wake up and say hey today is a new day i now have the strength to walk with my head held high I thank her so much for every word of her own trials and tribulations and how she gets threw it! It truly changed my life for the better! thank you so much for being the awesomeness that you are!
and thank you for giving me the strength to stand up for me again!



so everyday I will start my life by reminding myself that...
1. I am strong
2.I can do it!
3.I am beautiful in my own perfect way
4. I'm going to succeed!